I Don’t Need a Man to Make it Happen

Yesterday I was hit on by a man in a bowler hat; terribly British and rather charming.  The fact that he was 90 years old was the deal breaker. (He probably had some Italian hormones floating around in there somewhere.)  Regardless, he was hell bent on taking me out for a drink. I think instead I should have taken him out to pasture.

Despite his age, his gesture made me smile. Hey, as a single mum, I don’t get out all that often. So any attention- albeit a bit well preserved- is appreciated. But someone a little closer to my age might be more enjoyable. I’d rather not shout across a candlelit dinner into an earpiece.

I didn’t move to the other side of the world to find love. I came to find myself. But in saying that, I wouldn’t say no to love bowling me over; (just preferably not in a bowler hat). I miss that connectedness with another person; I miss good male energy. And it got me thinking, what is it that I truly want in a partner?  It’s worth the question every now and then.

I know my standards have changed because I’ve changed. I value myself so much more than I ever did before and so I expect to be treated with greater value by a man with social, moral and emotional values that support mine. I want him strong so I can soften just a little.  And so the list goes on…

Then there are some fundamentals that are important to me.  I’m a writer so books are virtually family, so a lover of books is essential.  One of my closest male friends has remained just that because ‘I haven’t read a book since I was 15, Vic’. Love him to pieces but… a deal breaker. And someone who wouldn’t mind to spin me around on my toes occasionally wouldn’t go astray…

I want someone who just gets me, loves all who I am, laughs at my jokes, makes me laugh back, a man who can engage me in conversation and who wants to listen, a man who will ask ‘How was your day?’ and really mean it. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask but I know that the man I'm looking for is rare. There will be a connection that only he and I will recognize, one that neither of us wish to lose.

So for that rare, wonderful man, I am happy to wait. In the meantime, I’ll keep working on myself, writing, exploring life and having a hell of a great time.  As The Pussycat Dolls sing, ‘I don’t need a man to make it happen.’ But one day I will welcome a great one along for the ride. :-)