Monica, Ross or Me?

I’m someone who likes things ordered. Not a Monica Geller from Friends, OCD kind of order but someone who just likes to know what’s going on and when.  It gives me a sense of control and, for my life at least, I like to feel in control.

But since the start of the year, my life has been less like Monica’s and more like Ross’.  A badly maintained council footpath caught me unaware, sending me flying, badly damaging my hand and neck. My life has been like a monthly version of the ‘10 days of Christmas’. Five months of chaos, 4 months of chronic pain, 3 months of no work, 2 months of mess, and a month of self-pity.

My life was spiraling downwards. That’s when the crunch came. Was I going to continue to allow my life to spin out of control or was I going to take the reins back and re-direct myself towards the sun?

Of course, being a Mother Moving Forward, I decided to take a firm grip back on the reins; but that’s when the realization hit. There are often situations that we cannot control, no matter how much we want or need to. What we can do though, is accept.

Last week I finally stopped fighting myself and my situation and accepted it. I didn’t succumb or give up. On the contrary, rather than making me feel like a victim, the acceptance empowered me and helped me find my balance.

Control is not all that it is cracked up to be. But acceptance is. Accepting that my life is in chaos means I am no longer crying about it. It is what it is. It will eventually get better. My house will become clean and I can honestly live with the mess, even if I don’t like it. My income has been tight but I have learned that I can survive even then and that in itself is very empowering. By accepting my situation, I have allowed myself to use my energy for moving forward rather than to lag, miserably, behind.

And guess what? Within a few days of accepting, my pain eased up and my outlook on life shifted for the better, bringing great things along in my life. It’s what we as single mothers have to do all the time; accept and shift. It’s what we have to do as humans.

 I am happy not being Monica or Ross. I am happy being me.