Forgive and Let Live

Divorce is one of those things that is riddled in negativity, not least of all the reason why your marriage broke up. Rarely is the break up due to simply growing apart.  Most commonly it has to do with financial problems, work related pressures, raising children or infidelity. By the time you’re ready to go your separate ways, a lot of things have been said and done and the blame game is in full swing.

Whether you are choosing to forgive yourself or your ex, it doesn’t matter. Either way, you are helping yourself to move forward. By forgiving, you are choosing to let go of the past and in doing so, you release much of the anger, hurt and pain from those memories.  You are freeing yourself from the shackles of bitterness and negativity.

Forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook or absolving them of responsibility. It’s about letting yourself off the hook. Whoever has done the deed or said the offending comment, the responsibility still sits squarely in their court. What forgiveness does instead, is allow you to move on from your story. Blame is like a disease; it keeps eating away at you the more you give it focus. And it serves no purpose but to make us sick.

On-going anger and resentment can have a major impact on our health, increasing the chances of high blood pressure, heart issues, long term depression and increased anxiety.  Studies show that forgiveness, however, lowers blood pressure and depression and calms the mind. Which do you choose?

Forgiveness is a choice.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to forget and pretend the issues never happened. On the contrary, what you are doing is simply accepting that they happened and accepting that the past cannot be changed. Acceptance puts you in a place of calm, freeing you up to let go of the anger and hurt, to forgive and move forward to create a life you love.