Say It Calmly

If you want something resolved, then try and keep your emotions out of it. Stick to the facts, not the history.

Exercise: Choose one thing now that you need to talk to your ex about and write it down.

Now spend 5 minutes venting. Pretend your ex was in front of you now. Let your anger or frustration or hurt out. Tell the pretend ex exactly what you think! Let it out!

When you’re done, spend 5 minutes re-grounding yourself. Close your eyes and slow your breath down; relax your body through slow, deep breathing. Feel your muscles soften and your emotions rebalance. Visualize your ex listening calmly to your request and agreeing to your needs. When you feel more centered, open your eyes.

Now calmly write down what result you saw and wanted from him.

When you next see him, you’ll be in a much calmer place to discuss this issue.