Making Your Words Count

When you’re caught up in the chaos of family life as a single mother, it can be difficult to be effective when you want to either make a point with your child or even more importantly get them to do something without resistance.

That’s why it is so important to make your words count! Here are a few tips to make your messages clear:

Think before you speak
When we’re in a ‘teaching’ moment and our kids are out of control, the tendency is to shoot from the hip and start shouting because we simply don’t have the energy or inclination to think first. This just makes things worse as children tend to follow our lead and give back as good as they get. When you’re out of control there is little hope of them being in control. Leave the room if you have to but take some time to work out your words and what the point is that you want them to understand.

Keep it simple
Kids have short attention spans, especially boys! So when you need them to understand something important it’s always a good idea to break it down for them first. If you start off with an essay, chances are that you’ve lost them after the third word. So choose your words carefully.

Watch your tone
Your tone is the first thing that your kids will pick up on when you talk to them. If you are angry and out of control, all they  feel is your anger, not the intended message. So calm yourself before you speak to your kids.

Back it up
Perhaps most importantly, always be prepared to back your words up with solid action. If you don’t mean it, then don’t say it.

 Use the Calm Before the Storm
If there is a particular problem that keeps coming up, don’t wait until it resurfaces to address it. The message will be louder and clearer if it is delivered at a time when you are all calm and happy. Like this, you can iron out some of the issues before they happen, without the hassle and the drama.

 Our contributor, Kylie M, is a single mother of three teenage boys and the creator of http://15minutevegetablegarden.com