Plan Ahead

Need to negotiate weekends with your ex; plan ahead

Alternate weekends can really play havoc if you are trying to plan a special event. It means you have to coordinate with the plans of your ex and what he had intended to do with your children that weekend.  Planning ahead, however, allows you plenty of time to request a swap of dates, or find a compromise which both you and your ex are happy with.

There are certain events that simply can't be moved; birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Day, special events. If it's important for you to take your children along to these, you need to give yourself and your ex sufficient time to discuss an exchange of dates or at the very least, the ability to have your child with you for part of the day.

When planning a holiday with your children, it is particularly important that you mention this to your ex as far in advance as possible, not just out of consideration to him, but also to give yourself the best chance of securing the dates that you want. If the shoe was on the other foot, you'd want to be given as much notice as possible, wouldn't you?

If it’s a situation where you truly aren't able to give sufficient notice to your ex about an upcoming event and you really want your children with you, let him know that under normal  circumstances, you would let him know well in advance, but with this situation it was unexpected and that this once, you'd really appreciate his flexibility.

As much as it is frustrating to have to seek your ex’s approval to organise your social life, the reality is, you do to some extent. So give yourself plenty of time in advance to discuss your requirements. This will give you the best chance of success.