Lose Your Bad Habits; Empower Your Kids

 There are some things you hope your children will model of your behaviour; maybe it’s your attitude to life, your work ethic, or your values. But there will undoubtedly be some things you hope they don’t model. For me, it was my fears.

At the top of the list was my phobic response to spiders. I’m not talking about a little discomfort, but a full scale panic attack at the sight of one. I once stopped my car on a major bridge in Sydney’s peak hour traffic, hysterical as a huntsman trotted across my windscreen. After much abuse from other drivers, I made my way to a petrol station and begged via sign language for them to check my car for the offending eight legs. They couldn’t find anything but I wasn’t convinced, so after finally arriving at my destination, I had my car fumigated. It was cheaper than buying a new car.  Get the idea?

But the crux came when I arrived home late one night after celebrating my birthday to find a huge huntsman on my ceiling. I raced for the vacuum cleaner (yes, we know that story), but I couldn’t use it. I was rigid with fear. I watched the spider watching me …until 3am. Having spent two hours like that, hysterical and sobbing, I rang a friend. He reminded me what time it was, rightly told me to bugger off, use the vacuum and go to sleep.  I finally did it- whilst sobbing, screaming and jumping- and promptly dumped the vacuum outside in the rain.

My fear of spiders has been a family hand-me-down and I was adamant that I didn’t want to pass this onto my child as a family heirloom, so I enrolled in an arachnophobia course at Taronga Zoo.

The course ran for half a day, consisted of a few hypnotherapists and 25 near hysterical men and women, each of us more phobic than the next. Over the 4 hours, they educated us on spiders, delved deep into our fears and expected each of us to achieve 100% success rate. A t what exactly were we supposed to succeed?

I have never experienced something as challenging as that day. My boundaries of fear and thought patterns of old weren’t just pushed, they were torn apart and shredded. I fought against myself and deeply struggled to be there, but I was incredibly determined to learn to manage my fear for my daughter’s sake.

What I and what every one of the 25 phobic people achieved that day was nothing short of miraculous. By the end of the course, we all had one thing to do to reach our 100%. We had to capture a huntsman on the loose, on our own...and have our photo taken with it. Those that were more determined (or crazy) had to hold a huntsman…which I did! For the record, I was shaking and had a group of supporters encouraging me, but I did it!

I left that course feeling that truly anything is possible when you are determined to change! What every person there that day showed me, is that when your back is against the wall, we each have the chance to move forward and that any change can happen if we want it enough.