I spent two hours on the phone the other day with a single mum friend of mine, talking about things we wanted to do, but didn’t have the courage to action. I’m not talking about sky diving or abseiling. I’m talking about the most fundamental things in life that we limit ourselves from doing out of FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear for the sake of fear!
All I wanted to do was to write a book I'd been thinking about for years. Sounds easy enough; surely it was only an issue of time? No; it was far more than that. Writing a book that I wanted more than anything to touch the hearts of single mums everywhere, eluded me. I was scared that if I actually wrote it, it may not be good enough, regardless of the fact that I’ve already had a children’s book published in 8 languages, heaps of magazine articles or that I write for a living. No. My fear topped all of that and sent my self confidence plummeting. So I made excuses why I couldn’t write the book.
Too busy, too tired, too upset, too happy (and therefore out socializing), too confused, too much writer’s block... You name it, it was my excuse. So I stopped trying to write the book.
My friend on the other hand, had signed up for an online, correspondence course and had been very enthusiastic about it. But after a few weeks had passed, her enthusiasm faded and, yes, our old friend, fear, took up residence instead. She was isolated by the online aspect and finding it difficult to stay motivated without discussing it with someone else. Her course was fading fast.
I suggested she start an online support group for her course. She loved the idea! But fear stopped her from doing it. Why? Well, what if nobody answered her ad? The fear that she would be even more alone set in, and so, it was better the devil she knew that the devil she didn’t.
So within our two hours of lamenting our situations, we focused on finding solutions. We both came to the same conclusion. We didn’t want our fear to win over our passion.
Sometimes we need to push through our fear and just do it!
So, I made a commitment to write an hour every day. An hour a day means 30 hours or so a month. Regularity meant finding my rhythm and so my book is well underway. More so, I love that I am writing it and feel inspired to keep doing so!
My friend, well, she posted an ad up on the forum of her course and met some lovely people who were equally fearful of approaching others. So now they are studying together and formed great new friendships.
What if my book failed? What if nobody answered her request? Does it really matter? No, because I now have a different perspective of the definition of failure. Failure is simply not starting. Giving it a try is never a failure; it’s a great step forward, regardless of the result. Make each move with increased confidence. Why? Because you are a Mother Moving Forward!