Respect Your Ex’s Relationship With His Children

Although your opinion of your ex as a husband may be quite low, maybe even justifiably so, it’s important that you set aside your past relationship experiences and allow new healthier relationships to develop. Since you don’t have the pressure and stress of a relationship in crisis to deal with now, your energies can be spent on expanding the relationship you now have with your children and (assuming your ex poses no physical or psychological risk to your children), allowing him the opportunity to do the same.

Remember, he is a parent too and quite possibly facing a very big adjustment with the loss of daily access to his children.

 Besides, there are many positive things to be gained from giving your kids (and your ex) your blessing to regularly spend time with each other: 1. Your kids will never have to carry guilt over loving their father; 2. You get to indulge in some quality ‘me’ time; 3. Your kids will develop a more balanced and independent relationship with their father and see him for who he truly is - the good and the bad.

 Trying to control your children’s relationship with their father without good reason will only backfire in the end as your kids may come to resent you for standing in the way of the relationship. Instead, find a balance that works well for your children. After all, you are both their parents.

 This article was contributed by "Money Bags", another single mother with 3 boys.